Insult Like Shakespeare Day – April 23rd

Ok, I’m making a bold statement.  Nay, I’m doing what must be done, and I need YOUR help to spread the word!  As you know, I write short, humorous, melodramatic renditions of Shakespeare’s plays, all in an effort to make The Bard easy for children (and adults!) to understand.  Well, since I’m on this mission to make Shakespeare fun and exciting for kids (like Disney says, “kids of all ages”) and, in acknowledgment to The Bard’s birthday, this April 23rd I’m declaring the first annual, “Insult Like Shakespeare Day!”  (go straight to the insult generator here) I’m truly surprised no one has done this before, but, think about it, what better way to engage in The Bards many innuendos, than by embracing what he truly does better than the rest of us, insults!  Let’s review, he came up with these classics:

• “I desire that we be better strangers.” from As You Like It
• “Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee.” from A Midsummer Night’s Dream
• “I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee something.” from Timon of Athens
• “If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.” from Two Gentlemen of Verona
• “You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.” from Much Ado About Nothing
• “I’ll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.” from Timon of Athens
• “Not so much brain as ear wax.” from Troilus & Cressida
• “Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril bitch.” from King Lear

WOW, on that last one, right?  That was a bleeping, mouthful!  So, in the spirit of all that is insulting, I am declaring Shakespeare’s birthday to be the official first annual Insult Like Shakespeare Day!  I mean, we could talk like Shakespeare, but really, that’s just talking like EVERYONE else from that era, nothing special to Shakespeare.  But, insults, who doesn’t like a nice, quick-witted, stinging, insult from time to time, right?!  And THAT would be really honoring The Bard at his best!  So, don’t be a (here they come…)

• Artless, tickle-brained, flap-dragon, or a
• Mewling, fool-born, bugbear, or a
• Paunchy, elf-skinned, ratsbane, or a

Well, I could go on, and on, with this list!  But, IT’S EASY to create your own.  Just open my insult generator and print out your very own insult generator sheet and get started ripping on your co-worker, or greeting your significant other in the morning with one of these beauties, or, as I have always said, insult your English teacher with this list and you will IMPROVE  your grade!

So, I need your help to the spread the word about the official Insult Like Shakespeare Day, April 23rd.  Please share the love with all you know, and be sure to do it with a juicy insult and a smile!  You can copy this link and paste it to make it easy:

April 23rd is Insult Like Shakespeare Day! Find your insult here and share the love, you rank, elf-skinned, lout! http://ow.ly/vUSKL

(quick thanks to bachelorsDegree.org for providing the list of Shakespeare’s insults bulleted above)